The Hunger Games Simulator

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 1:04 am

There's no deaths because there's too much water.

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 1:20 am

That explains Flareon's lack of fire.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 1:26 am

Nidoking wants to be Bart Simpson.

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 1:30 am

He needs to eat his shorts first.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 1:34 am

Nidoking could eat an entire Marshall's full of shorts.

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 1:36 am

He also needs a memorable 90's catchphrase.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Bleach Behemoth on Fri May 01, 2015 1:39 am

Iggy wrote:There's no deaths because there's too much water.

IGN gave my Hunger Games a 7.8/10 for this very reason. How generous.


Krookodile, Honchkrow and Chesnaught have a very interesting debate on the ethics of late-term abortion and global climate change.
Serperior confirmed for being a little bitch.
Flareon pulls an all-nighter due to not knowing the move "Sleep".
Greninja continues avoiding Fire, having mixed up its strengths and weaknesses as a Water type.
Arcehops' music earns platinum record status within a matter of minutes.
Darmanitan, appreciating how Magmortar spared his life earlier, allows the fiery salamander to take shelter in his shit shack.


Gyarados too pulls an all-nighter, studying for his finals in college while also participating in the Hunger Games. Sadly despite all his hard work into building an impressive resume, he will ultimately get beaten out by rich punks with connections in the job market.
Feraligatr has a massive fucking period and dies due to lack of tampons. Thank fuck somebody died finally, ratings were starting to drop.
Nidoking doesn't know any Fire type moves, lol. Come on man, Sheer Force ran with some strong special attacks is a good set for ya.
Ampharos puts an end to Venusaur's shitty existence, also growing tired that nobody was actually dying.
Houndoom and Steelix create a "Most Slutty Contestants" list together out of boredom.
Iggy gives Heliolisk an explosive because just fuck this shit up already.

Finally a bit of action.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 1:42 am

Charizard and Blastoise rejoice.

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 1:43 am

Yeah we do. Cool
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Bleach Behemoth on Fri May 01, 2015 1:56 am

THE FEAST HAS COMMENCED, I REPEAT, THE FEAST HAS COMMENCED!!!11!!1!1


Darmanitan hands out the gift of death via sickle to Honchkrow, taking that fedora wearing raven to the grave.
Archeops fucks with Flareon's shit out of spite because "LOL FLAREON HAS NO MOVES HURR DURR HAHAHAHAHA I'M SO FUNNEH RITE!!?!?1?1?"
Steelix and Chesnaught fight over food like two obese bitches in a buffet. Ultimately Chesnaught proves to be the more dominant fat fuck girl, forcing Steelix to slim down after claiming the last scoop of Mac N' Cheese.
Gyarados realizes that Greninja is fucked in the head thinking that he's weak to Fire attacks. So Gyarados throws a cocktail molotov at our sneaky frog friend and sets him ablaze to burn for all eternity in ninja hell like the villain Greninja is.
Nidoking smashes Houndoom's skull in on rocks, putting the bad dog down as imagined Houndoom was Lassie. Sorry Iggy, but Houndoom had rabies and needed to be put to sleep forever.
Heliolisk says, "Fuck this shit I'm outta here," and doesn't go to The Feast. Good job Heliolisk, diets are tough to follow up on but you're showing some real perseverance here.
Krookodile and Magmortar form a Bro Duo. Oh fuck.
Serperior and Ampharos also get in a kerfuffle over food like two welfare cunts at a McDonalds. Serperior, having more thug life experience, manages to get Ampharos to back the hell off. Ampharos decides to take her EBT elsewhere.

Well that was nice to see, hopefully the rest of this Hunger Game's is just as entertaining to watch.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 1:58 am

Oh god Houndoom is dead. Iggy will now cry for eternity.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 2:02 am


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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Bleach Behemoth on Fri May 01, 2015 2:12 am

Alright, so while Iggy grieves for her loss, let's check up on the surviving contestants.


Archeops' Defeatist activated, that's all I can really say here.


Spit on their graves for all I care. Just because you're dead doesn't mean you should expect to be treated respectfully.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 2:14 am

Can you please destroy Houndoom's grave? I can't bear to look at it.

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 2:19 am

He lives in you, Iggy. He does.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Bleach Behemoth on Fri May 01, 2015 2:19 am

Don't worry Iggy, Houndoom will be cremated and sent back to you in an urn.


Nidoking you dumbass, why in the fuck was a big guy like you climbing a tree in the first place? You aren't no monkey, you a fucking kaiju.
Gyarados used his Fire to burn Greninja to death so no warmth for him tonight lol.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 2:21 am

Nidoking for worst death evah 2015.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 2:23 am

RIP Nidoking: Died the same way Edd did, like a dork.

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 2:26 am

Nidorking.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Bleach Behemoth on Fri May 01, 2015 2:33 am

Okay let's check up and see what the morning news is like.


Magmortar and Darmanitan fight again, but Magmortar spares his life again. What the fuck is going on with these two? Is this their fetish? Do they think this is a fucking game? Well it is, but not like Candy Land and shit. Fucking Fire types.
Steelix, Ampharos and Gyarados all mass gang rape and kill Heliolisk. Sorry Iggy but yeah, Heliolisk died excruciatingly slow and painful. It was true agony, not a sight meant for the kiddos to witness. What left of her remains we could salvage will be mailed to your front doorstep on Tuesday.
Flareon don't you dare play in that river you stupid fucking Fire type.
Krookodile executes Serperior just like how it was done in the French Revolution. Only replace "beheaded with the guillotine" with "bludgeoned". Krookodile you young and edgy anarchist, you'd fit in perfectly at Baltimore right now.


LOL
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 2:38 am


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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 11:27 am

Another one bites the dust
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Bleach Behemoth on Fri May 01, 2015 4:00 pm

I think we're reaching the end here folks, let's see what happens tonight:


Steelix wants to go back home to his wife and kids, who are the cutest Onix babies you've ever seen. Everything Steelix has done to try and win this Hunger Game's was brutal, but necessary in order to go back and support his wife who has terminal cancer any many mentally impaired children.
Chesnaught and Magmortar have managed to kill themselves. A shame we had Pokemon going out like little bitches this late into the games.
Flareon/Gyarados OTP now?
Krookodile, Darmanitan and Ampharos have a nice discussion on socioeconomic classes, enclaves and how they will donate their money to Nepal if they win.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by SkullDevil on Fri May 01, 2015 4:01 pm

Another multiple suicide? Jeez, here I thought these Pokémon were mentally stronger than this.
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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

Post by Iggy on Fri May 01, 2015 4:23 pm

Battling can do harsh things to your mentality.

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Re: The Hunger Games Simulator

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