Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

Post by Saffaur on Fri Jun 19, 2015 6:49 pm

But uhh, keep Artur and Joshua. Take out Lute and Natasha. Train Artur in staves so he can get a Physic which helps with his high magic skill. But if you want another magic user, I usually used Natasha.

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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

Post by DivineSheep on Sat Jun 20, 2015 10:17 pm

Difficult.

Bro, if ya gonna do something do it right!
Also that way you've more reason to be proud of ingame accomplishments. AND the game lasts longer...
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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

Post by Efe Clemenza on Mon Jul 13, 2015 9:51 pm


HEY KIDDIES ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MORE FIRE EMBLEM ACTION

'cause i'm not

I recorded this a few days weeks ago (what happened), but there's a mistake made somewhere in this update that sorta scared me off uploading it. But we'll get nowhere if a few screw-ups hold us back.

You wanted hard mode. You got hard mode.
Spoiler:

Conceal, don't fe- *shot*

Why is Emperor Palpatine talking to a scarecrow? And I'll let you guess which one's which (hint: you're wrong)

I didn't screenshot it, but he hasn't moved his troops to surround us yet. We can run wherever we damn please.

Not creepy in the slightest nope not at all so when can we kill you now okay that's cool

Long story short, we give him the bracelet and he doesn't even release the hostages he was holding on to. Oh yeah, he has hostages.

Instead, he warps them here to be eaten by giant venomous spiders. What a metal way to go.

Also, why doesn't the dude get a line or is even acknowledged by anyone? The other two said something, why doesn't this dude contribute?

I'd rather not.

Neither had I.

Keep dreaming.

I've got bad news for ya buddy.

You'll be embracing a life of piracy.


No! Wawawawawait!

You see, Ross is for n00bs. He has no skill.

No skill!

Because he can't hit anyone or land criticals. We should be using Garcia!

Y'all really want me to use Joshua, so we'll be doing that. Moulder seems to be our primary healer too, so Natasha gets benched for now. Lute is also left behind. Franz was gonna be ditched anyway, because come on.

HE'S FRANZ.

Vanessa gets the dragonshield for extra defense. I have plans. Ross gets the secret book for extra skill because he *really* needs it. After some inventory shuffling, we are ready to roll.

Welcome to hell. This map introduces our first fog of war mission, where units will only be able to see a three-tile radius around them. Thieves and their promotions on the other hand, can see a massive nine tiles, making them invaluable for these levels. Also, the enemies are not bound by the same vision restrictions, and will be able to attack your units even if logic dictates that they cannot see them.

That's Intelligent Systems Quality for ya!

Colm moves forward and uses the torch we got earlier. Torches add 5 to a unit's vision, which decreases by 1 every turn for 5 turns until vision returns to normal. By having a thief use one, you'll get a massive area revealed and not have to worry *too* much about the fog.

Huh. Probably should have checked that.

Eh, this'll be fine for now.

Just as planned.

Vanessa visits this village and gets an antitoxin, which cures the user of poison. This would be useful if I didn't already have one on her and a full inventory, so she sends it to the suppply convoy. She'll be going on a mission after this.

Gilliam? Doubling an opponent? Am I dreaming?

BELIEVE THE ONE PERCENT CRITS BECAUSE THEY ARE REAL

Don't turn into a Ross on me.

Speaking of whom, he'll wait over here to bait some ranged attacks with his hatchet.

This is getting really old really fast. Though on this topic, I'd like to ask for your input on one more thing. Characters are usually promoted when they reach level 20 to maximize the experience they recieve, but healers are vulnerable without a way to defend themselves. If I promote them at 10, they lose out on some experience, but they'll be able to fight back with magic. So, do I promote Moulder early? Or do I wait and promote him with the rest of the gang? Your choice.

Where do you think you're aiming, bozo?!

Oh my... forget what I just said.

Artur apparently keeps his lifeforce in his cape.

Not what I was hoping to happen, but that 100 accuracy is glorious. Just goes to show what happens when you hit the books.

Nothing ever works the way I want it to.

OH YOU CAN JUST GO FONDLE A CHEESE GRATER

Seth takes as many lives as I let him take.

Artur is back on the road to Crit City, population: himself, Joshua, Eirika, and apparently Gilliam.

Secret Agent Vanessa breaks through enemy lines undetected! What is her mission?

Joshua gets his first kill this map. Many will follow (I think, I can't remember how much he actually does).

Gilliam moves in place to protect the princess because Seth was busy.

"Ask me if I care."

Alright, now I care. Are you ever gonna get more defense? You've kinda been coasting off your good base stats for a while now, but it's time to go from good to great!

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

That's gotta hurt. He may never be beautiful aga-

Oh come on, you missed both chances to crit? I had a whole joke planned too...

This just in: magic still hurts. We now return you to your regular programming.

If you couldn't guess, Vanessa is heading off to save the NPCs from a grim fate.

Ross waits on the mountain to bait more attacks and to bully the trobadour.

Seth evaporates another poor soul.

With that Vulnerary, Joshua oughta be able to help intercept those cavaliers.

COME BACK HERE THAT'S MY ELIXIR

i mean it's not mine yet but i want it

I swear to Christ, poison weapons have 100% accuracy against me...

Now you're just trying to make me mad.

And so is this level.

Why is Ross doing so poorly? He's usually one of my strongest units :/

I don't remember there being *this* many cavaliers. This'll be annoying.

The easy way to save these people is to rescue them one by one and carry them to a safe location. In a couple of turns, a spider will make its way down the mountains to one-shot them.

But that's boring, so we're not doing that.

I've already exhausted all of my Sonic jokes, you don't need to keep getting that level.

You're a lot more focused on surviving than you are on killing, I see.

Things are a little dismal with all of these cavaliers and my units so low on health. I try to set up something like a defensive wall here. The cavaliers can't cross mountains, and the large number of forest tiles mean that they can't get around Gilliam either.

Meanwhile, Ross is going to retreat and make himself useful.

SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Normally I'd want to minimize the number of times I have a chance of taking damage, but this oughta be safe for some extra damage.

Guess all that suspense was for nothing, we safe up in dis hizzie.

WHAT.

THIS IS NO BUENO
THIS IS NO BON
THIS IS NO HAO
THIS IS NO HOW DO YOU SAY GOOD IN GERMAN

NOT NOW MOULDER WE HAVE A SITUATION BREWING

oh god that's a javelin

PLEASE DON'T NO I CAN'T

I NEARLY SCREAMED GOD DAMN IT

You will always remember, this is the day that you almost caught Captain Jo-

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

oh and vanessa prepares for battle with a spider but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yoink

NOW IT IS TIME FOR REVENGE

That's probably the worst level you've gotten so far and considering what kind of unit you are, it's *still* a decent level.

OH RIGHT I'M STILL ANGRY YOU KILLED MY FRIEND I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU

YOU... had nothing to do with Joshua dying but I HATE YOU TOO

holy crap i hit that uh i mean TAKE MY RAGE

Vanessa commences battle with a giant, canivorous spider with venomous claws (remember; if it bites you and you die, that was venom. If you bite it and you die, that was poison. Common misconception, really) while riding atop a mythical creature.

If this isn't the cover to a metal album somewhere, it will be or my name isn't Staff Seargent Max Fightmaster.

how did you dodge that and joshua got hit with a lower hit percent

i hate this game sometimes my knight dodges more than my myrmidon

I'm not even sure if I should be mad at how much Gilliam is dodging, or mad that I didn't think of using the TANK to hold off the cavaliers.

oh for the love of

Vanessa takes her first hit. Fighting the spider on the mountains is hard because it gets a huge defense and evasion boost, while flying units can't take advantage of the same boosts. However, if I move Vanessa away, it'll go straight for the civilians. Of course, you could rescue and drop the civilians somewhere else, but as I said, that's boring.

damn it i can't math

Well, the cavaliers are finally done with, so we can go about ending this map.

For the love of- I know she's unarmed, but I'm not leaving here without that damn experience!

My mindset in using the antitoxin here instead of attacking was that if I got attacked two times in a row (one on my phase, one on theirs), she wouldn't survive the poison damage. So there, I can, in fact, math.

Alright, this has gone on long enough. Let's just skip to the interesting parts.

Like Vanessa making me wonder why I use her. There are two stats I wanted you to get and you got neither of them. At least *someone* is getting skill.

F**K YOU ROSS

These stats will serve you well should you ever promote.

Artur, our resident anti-dark mage, is having trouble with this dark mage.

I hate hard mode.

And Vanessa finally slays the beast.

damn it

Colm is handling this shaman better than Artur. Let that sink in.

YOU HAVE OTHER STATS COLM

GROW THEM

what even are hit percentages

why did joshua die to what even was it, 36 percent before true hit

this game hates me as much as i hate it

Well, Vanessa finishes the map next turn. Finally.

*sigh* Just... just take it.

"Both"? WHAT THE F**K HAPPENED TO THE DUDE?! WHAT HE EVEN REAL? WAS HE JUST A GHOST?! WHY DON'T WE SEE HIM?! WHY DOESN'T HE SAY ANYTHING?!

oh and they give us an orion's bolt for promoting flying units

Anyway, Seth tells us that Eirika's and Ephraim's bracelets open a secret chamber that holds Renais' sacred stone. All the more reason to find him then.

This save hurts knowing what I lost for it.

Anyway, next map, two units have to be left behind. Choose carefully. Also, I'm requiring that Colm is placed on this map. Otherwise, go nuts.

Now if you don't mind, I've got something to crudely edit in paint.net.


But Eirika...

I thought you couldn't afford to lose.
Perfect.
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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

Post by The Villain of Scams on Fri Jul 17, 2015 5:29 am

DONT USE LUTE AND ARTUR SAY NO TO MAGIC

ALSO WAIT TO PROMOTE MOULDER WAIT UNTIL LEVEL 20
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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

Post by Gokua on Sat Jul 18, 2015 2:56 am

You need to get rid of Frantz, man.
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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

Post by Efe Clemenza on Wed Sep 16, 2015 10:24 am



*heavy snoring*

"Efe..."

Huh... wha....

"Efe... wake up..."

What... who's talking?

"Your work is not yet done... wake up..."

Whoever it is, I'm not buying.

"Renais needs you. Your work is not yet done. Wake up."

Renwhatsit? Oh, that thing. Dude, it's been like a day since my last update, give me a break.

"It's been two months, Efe. Your work is not yet done."

Two mo- TWO MONTHS?! WHAT! WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFOKAY I'M UP I'M UP LET'S DO THIS

"Your work is not yet done."

I heard you the first time, creepy head voice.
Spoiler:
BACK AND READY FOR ACTION LET'S SEE WHO WE CAN KILL TODAY

Obviously, the best way to do this will be to attack them

HEAD ON

In other words, we're going to assail it.

Assail... assail... is assail a word? "I assailed their castle"...

There's two people missing from this groupshot ;_;

You say that, but I'm 100% certain that you could handle this map by yourself.

But... you're Franz. Why would I do that?

Going by your votes, I decided to bench Natasha and Artur. Sure, I end up with a mage, but this way, we might get Franz killed.

Because, let's be honest.

No no, be 100% honest.

You know what I'm gonna say.










HE'S FRANZ

Anyway, this map isn't all that difficult. The enemy has one ballista ready to attack you, but it's far off and won't come into play for a while. If Neimi were still alive, we could use that ballista to the north to snag some early kills. Otherwise, we just loop around the mountain range and work our way towards the castle.

This oughta do for a starting position. There's two enemies to the north, so Colm and Lute are gonna pick on them for experience.

Ross snags the first kill of the map.

Next turn, he displays those sick water-walking strats.

*Sigh* I'm so glad we brought you, Lute.

It just occurs to me that no one's taken a hit so far. I mean, they've mostly been targeting high speed units, but the luck is astoundingly in my favor.

Holy hell, did Franz just get a kill?

Colm and Lute had to work for this kill, they're both barely doing damage. Colm because he has toothpicks for arms, and Lute because she has cinder blocks for shoes.

But that all changed when the Fire Na- *shot*

Eirika is as brutal as always.

Of *course*, Franz is the first to take a hit.

This is gonna take a while.

That's nice, Garcia.

F**k you, Ross. I don't care if Garcia got the same level, HE HAS MORE THAN 4 SKILL

Ah, so here's where my luck wears out.

Jeez, if that hit, it would have been game over.

But it didn't.

AND NOW YOU PAY THE PRICE

Eirika continues to crush it.

And continues to be crushed, it seems.

Can't touch this.

I wasn't planning on stealing this since I'm never gonna use it and it barely sells for anything, but I want Lute to get the kill, so might as well get some EXP for Colm. For those not in the know, Pure Water temporarily increases a unit's resistance, which will slowly wear out over the next couple of turns.

GODDAMN IT ROSS THIS IS WHY I SAY YOU NEED SKILL

Eirika will have to show you how it's done also why the hell haven't I healed you yet

GODDAMN, LUTE

Secret Agent Vanessa airlifts Colm to his next mission.

I moved Seth here to bait out the ballista. They only have 5 shots, and I have all the time in the world.

Vanessa drops Colm in the river because she's a meanie.

But for real, we're trying to lure that mage over here. She has an energy ring, an item that buffs strength/magic by 2, and I want to steal it.

DAMN IT COLM YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DODGE THAT

I completely forgot how inaccurate ballistae are.

yoink

To avoid any more attention, Vanessa will take Colm away from the river.

I'm pretty sure I ended up forgetting to move Lute for half the turns after we got those two kills in the north.

Ballistae still can't hit anything.

Eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh

Oh hey, look who can support.
Damn, this army has a lot of fiiine lookin' women. And now that I'm not tied down anymore...

And just like that, the magic is gone.
What a loving family.

damn gilliiam i was gonna make a joke about your armor being invincible but even you're dodging attacks

Franz, you could learn from Gilliam's example.

IT'S NOT GONNA WORK

Okay now you're just show-boating.

Vanessa thinks she's a myrmidon. She's not a myrmidon.

Damn it Eirika, you're supposed to be the one dodging things

WHAT THE F**KING S**T EIRIKA

Seth slays the foolish archer. Finally.

I forgot to move Lute so many times, that I decide to just fly her over the mountain. She probably would have caught up on her own if I remembered to move her, I was playing pretty defensively.

That was a mistake.

I made the effort of moving Lute over here, I am damn well gonna make her fight.

#untouchable

After all that bullying, Franz finally picks up the kill and a level.

That's nice, Franz.

Pegasus Knight versus Archer is a recommended match up. Try it! It works!

*This endorsment is not backed by any factual evidence, and the loss of life of your pegasus knights is in no way to be held responsible by Efe or any of his affiliates.

F**K
YOU
ROOOOOOOOOOOSS

I really wish this was a screenshot I took before the archer attacked, so the archer could attack and KILL YOU

Lute finishes the archer off, but doesn't get a level. Neither does Moulder from healing everyone. Oh well.

Let's end this.

Probably because the archer who was manning one of your two ballistae was blind, and the other was manned by a mage and a fighter.

THINK, MAN.

Checkmate.

Lord who?

I like this Eirika.

Hey Ephraim, look at me, I made it to the castle! (waffles)

Is it Shadow- okay, bad joke. Just put the gun down.

Nope, it's just a paladin. And he's blue, so he's on our side.

I SAW YOU DIE

ERROR: PRINCE NOT FOUND. ENGAGING SUBROUTINE; B4CKST4BB3R.

FOLLOW ME. HA. HA. HA.
He seems nice.

Alright so- huh, that's an odd title for the next chapter. Well, you know the drill. Pick two characters to leave behind on the next map, and I'll see y'all then.

"Your work is not yet done, Efe."

Shut. Up."

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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

Post by The Villain of Scams on Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:28 am

Leave out Franz and Ross. Because screw Franz and because Ross deserves to be grounded.
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Re: Efe takes on Fire Emblem 8: I'm not finished yet!

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