Super ZeBunker Theater 9001

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Super ZeBunker Theater 9001

Post by Mobias on Sat Jun 20, 2015 3:30 am

 ~ the Ed, Edd n Eddy Zone ~

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Jewel #1

By Kristen


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Chapter 1

Click!Click!Click! goes the computer.

*singing* Clang! Clang! Clang! goes the bell!

It's the middle of summer

And the livin' is easy...

and to some people that means lots of chores, but to Jewel T. Bone it means computer, music, and fun.

She's named after a steak?

She had just finished writing an E-mail to one of her computer friends when her mom yells out, "JEWEL! Have you cleaned your room yet?"

"Yes mom!" says Jewel, responding to her mom.

Gosh, mom, have a little faith in me!

Her mom always wanted the place clean before Jewel's dad got home from work, which is being a police officer.

If she didn't, he'd wrestle her to the ground and tell her to stop resisting.

She remembers when she was only a pup,

Heh, her last name is 'bone', so the author is using dog metaphors. That's kinda cute, I guess.

he would take the bullets out of his gun and play cops and robbers with her when he got home, but that was years ago.

"So, what, it's just a gun! Not like it's something REALLY dangerous, like a Miley Cyrus CD or a Caitlyn Jenner article!"

She signed off the computer, shut it off and went into the living room to watch TV.

Y'know, most authors don't include the detail about signing off AND shuttng down. I appreciate the realism.

She was surfing through the channels when her mom came out of the kitchen and said, "You should get out more often."

You're just going to stay here forever. You need to quit playing these foolish games.

Then Jewel responded, "I went outside yesterday mom!"

Spoken like a true redditor.

"Well, I want you to go out now!" said her mom.

Listen to my intuition. What's simple is true and it'll make you a stronger woman.

So Jewel decided to take a short walk. She walked for a little while until three blurs went running by, then three more do.

Do what? Remind you of the babe?

She had no idea what those were so she followed the way they went and ends up in an alley where three female humans (Kanker sisters) were facing a corner.

Nobody puts Kanker in a corner...wait.

Then she heard someone scream in a male's voice, "HELP!"

*singing* I NEED SOMEBODY!

She doesn't usually do this but she ran to the rescue.

Why would she run to a shitty movie starring the farmer from Babe?

She attacked the females and they ran like crazy hopefully, home.

Yes, they ran like crazy, like any republican candidate for the last decade. *badum-tshh*

Jewel then walked over to the corner and saw three male humans huddled together in the corner, shaking with fear.

Except the middle one. He was actually just a human vibrator.

"Hi!" Jewel said to them.

"Hi" said the shortest male.

"I'm Jewel" she said.

"Really? Who will save your soul?"

"I'm Eddy and this is Double D and Ed." said the shortest one.

"Thank you for saving us..." said Double D, the middle sized one.

Looks like I accidentally called Sockhead a dildo. I stand by it.

"No problem, those girls looked like they were going to kill you." said Jewel.

"Actually...

We were just rehearsing our new performance art piece. It's going great!

they were going to kiss us." said Eddy.

"Ohhh" said Jewel.

"Hello! I'm Ed!" said the tallest one, Ed (Duh!).

Like, omigod, fer sher!

"Hi Ed" said Jewel.

"Hey, can we go back with you?" asked Eddy. "Sure, come on. My sister would love to meet you" said Jewel.

She's really into groups of dudes, if you know what I mean.

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Re: Super ZeBunker Theater 9001

Post by 腐川冬子/fukawa touko on Sat Jun 20, 2015 5:54 am

Mobias wrote:"So, what, it's just a gun! Not like it's something REALLY dangerous, like a Miley Cyrus CD or a Caitlyn Jenner article!"



fuck you dude

you don't know about


equality

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