Three things you cannot live without: A survival guide

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Three things you cannot live without: A survival guide

Post by 腐川冬子/fukawa touko on Tue Jul 15, 2014 3:18 pm

A former SAS member wrote a survival guide detailing the three things you cannot live without and how long you can live without them.

It's easy to remember because he called it the "Rule Of Threes". You can live:

3 minutes without your fedora. Do NOT lose your fedora. Without it, unintelligent believers of religions might disturb your inner euphoria. In case you do lose your fedora, immediately begin reading Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion until a replacement fedora can be tipped. (It's also okay to never wash your greasy long hair or shave your neckbeard. It helps you build a resistance to believers.)
3 Hours without memes. You must constantly stimulate and bombard yourself with images that have been re-posted with different text or funny cat videos. If you are not typing "LOL xD" or clicking the upvote button, then your brain may reinstate a neurologically typical state of mind. In case you begin to imagine normal things like getting a girlfriend or a job, think of Sonic and your favorite Pokemon.
3 Days without My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. If you ever question the fact that liking MLP was a joke that /co/ started, you're already fucking dead, kiddo. See Poe's Law for more information. (Poe's Law is a link)
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Re: Three things you cannot live without: A survival guide

Post by Iggy on Tue Jul 15, 2014 11:14 pm

Crud, I never had a fedora in my life. Does this mean I'm really dead?

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Re: Three things you cannot live without: A survival guide

Post by Bleach Behemoth on Tue Jul 15, 2014 11:48 pm

Iggy wrote:Crud, I never had a fedora in my life. Does this mean I'm really dead?

Better off dead than to don a fedora.

Nice list though Adam, 8/10 made me chuckle.
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